Teen vs Parent: Insights and Tips from Hildegard Havenga (Part 4)

In the first 3 parts of Teen versus Parent Hildegard Havenga shared some views regarding ‘Tips from a teenager’s point of view’. In this last article, Part 4, readers can take note of the following remarks and advice from Hildegard, as well as a picture of her.

Look out for your child...

There are many obstacles to overcome when you’re young, and although teens won’t always admit it, there are clear signs that your child is struggling. It’s very important for parents to be sensitive to these signs and to create a supportive environment where young people feel comfortable discussing their emotions and challenges.

Hildegard suggests parents watch for the following:

No passion for sports or activities

When everything becomes too much, teens can lose their passion for things they usually thrive in. 

Withdrawal from friends and family

When they have too much on their plate, they may not have the energy to engage with friends and loved ones, often pushing away those closest to them.

Tired, burnt out, and depressed

Look for signs of anxiety, depression, or burnout. This often follows a period of intense focus and effort; afterward, they simply can’t face repeating the process. These signs sometimes also appear after a major disappointment.

Screen time...

Another common conflict between parents and teens is screen time and social media. Negotiate reasonable and fair screen time agreement that satisfies both parties. Set clear times and places where phones are not allowed, like at the dinner table or during family activities. Set an example by having boundaries for your own screen and social media use. Discuss the rules from time to time and be willing to make adjustments that suit your teen. Don’t preach about the dangers of social media - your teen is aware of them. If you’re concerned about something, talk honestly about it with your child.

Hildegard is an award-winning South African social media content creator, teen role model, speaker, writer, model, and actress. This formidable fifteen-year-old from Pretoria is passionate about being a voice for young people and uplifting and empowering them wherever she can. Her goal is not only to make the most of the time she has left in school but also to change lives.

“By sharing these tips, I hope to make the journey and learning curve a bit easier for families by helping parents understand how we teens think and feel,” she concludes.

Hardus Botha