In the Podiatrist’s Dental Chair
For more than a decade I paid Doctor Carey to work on my teeth whenever one or more of them caused me pain in the form of toothache.
“I’ve just had an SMS.”
“From?”
“Takeabody. Listen to this: ‘Good day. Collection of your husband’s body has been scheduled for no later than 5pm on Thursday 25 June. Please ensure that the corpse is in a hygienic state and lying in a supine position with straightened limbs.’”
“Thursday? But that’s tomorrow. It must be a mistake; I’ve been feeling fine of late. Or maybe it’s a scam. They send a fake Takeabody message, and when you respond, they offer to move the date if you pay a large amount into their account.”
“There’s a reference number. It looks authentic.”
“Well, if it is genuine, Their AI forecaster must foresee a heart attack, or a stroke, or something. At least, if it’s true, I won’t suffer a lingering death.
“We will just have to wait and see. What else can we do?”
“We can’t just sit around waiting. Let’s go out for a meal, and when we get back I’ll take some Viagra. How about it?”
“All right. You always said you wanted to go with a bang and not a whimper.”
From Fairy Tales and Nursery Rhymes.
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