Blog

Why I Haven’t Killed Myself, Yet

Why I Haven’t Killed Myself, Yet

Ian Martin in Pearly Beach

Why I Haven’t Killed Myself, Yet

It’s strange that I have bothered to hang around this long, considering all the nihilistic thoughts that populate my brain. 

I was about 17 when it first occurred to me to ask myself, ‘What’s the point in being alive?’ And over the next 50-odd years I have repeated this obtuse question, and I still come up with the same answer: No point. I am not able to justify my existence, and as a consequence, have failed to develop a socially acceptable outlook on three important levels. Firstly, how I perceive myself; secondly, how I view my fellow human beings; and thirdly, how I see my place in the cosmos.

How do I see myself? Most people work very hard at constructing a heroic image of themselves. The moment I get started on any such image building activity I am stopped in my tracks by the sound of sniggering at my shoulder. I suddenly feel embarrassed, as if I had been observed practising a smile in the mirror, or someone had opened the door to find me busy … Read more

To view my longer work as an author, you can find me on Smashwords here.

Why I Haven’t Killed Myself, Yet

Ian Martin

This is my writer's blog and it's a pleasure to have your company. You’ll see that the site is designed to showcase my writing.

View Profile

What is Xplorio?

Xplorio is your local connection allowing you to find anything and everything about a town.

Watch the Gansbaai Video
Read More

Recent Posts

My Hairdresser

My Hairdresser

I have been going to the same hairdresser for 41 years. If, on average, she has cut my hair every two months, it only requires a simple arithmetic calculation to multiply six by forty-one, and arrive at the number of times she has given me a haircut....

Memory Project: My Green Spectacle Case

Memory Project: My Green Spectacle Case

I recently chanced upon this spectacle case when rummaging through a bottom drawer filled with miscellaneous junk. The sight of it got me thinking about the history of my accursed affliction.

Potjie Pap

Potjie Pap

"Look Steve, it isn't possible to impart a skill like this over the phone. If you are serious, you will have to attend a demonstration and lecture. I will be cooking pap with our chicken pot on Sunday."

My Writing Career

My Writing Career

I began my writing career at the age of 50. I was aware that the majority of famous writers hit their stride in their thirties and forties, and that I was making a late start. Undeterred, I told myself that my muse had been in no hurry, preferring to...

Senile Delusion

Senile Delusion

"Christmas comes but once a year, and when it's gone, I jump and cheer."

Waiting for Walter

Waiting for Walter

On the last of our ten days in Joburg, Guy drove us to Lanseria Airport to catch a 12:05 flight on a Safair Boeing 737 back to Cape Town.