How To Become An Entrepreneur

While in the army Plug had received some advice from the Quartermaster.

“If you want to learn how to make good money in the world of business and finance, and you don’t want to actually have to do any work, all you need to do is observe and then imitate the behaviour of the members of an upmarket golf club.”

Accordingly, immediately upon discharge, Plug had taken a 2-week job as a waiter in the clubhouse of a larney Country Club. In that fortnight he absorbed a great deal of important information. The single most useful observation had to do with what he called the ‘cigarette box scheme.’

“I soon noticed a pattern,” he said. “Whenever two or more of these capitalists began discussing something in earnest, it was inevitable that one of them would start scribbling on the back of a cigarette box. Dunhill, usually. Looking over their shoulders, I saw that it was simple arithmetic, with an emphasis on multiplication. It became apparent to me that the inspiration for every innovative idea in the history of human civilisation was developed on the back of a cigarette box, or a scrap of material similar in size.”

“Our garden boy used to do sums in the sand with a stick,” said Frikkie.

“Exactly,” said Plug. “How much space does one need to write down E=mc²?”

“A matchbox would be plenty big enough,” said Frikkie.

Plug then produced from his pocket a piece of foolscap and a ballpoint. The paper was folded in half, and half again.

“Not being a bloody fool,” he said, “I don’t smoke, and as a consequence don’t carry a cigarette box around with me. But this is roughly the same size, and far more convenient. If I use both sides, it’s equivalent to 8 cigarette boxes. That’s space for 8 brilliant ideas.”

This is an extract from Frikkie and Plug, which is available on Smashwords.