Don’t get angry get even! 

Do you know this saying?

We have all been in situations where you sit down with a cup of coffee, and randomly during the least opportune moments, you think about all the things you can do to a person who has hurt you, or cheated you or on you, insulted you, etc.  We have all dreamt up amazing schemes and seen the scenes in our mind’s eye of how we get back at them.

Get back at them?  Really?

Just think for a moment.  How much time have you spent dreaming up all these things you would like to do to them?  (I bet a few might land you in jail.) You have most likely spent hours planning it in detail and seen them squirm around. You could feel the hate, the anger, the resentment and you could feel the satisfaction for a split second. And then it was gone and a minute later you are planning again.

Maybe they do deserve it.  But the bigger reality here is, that while you are dreaming up all these things you are going to do to them, they have controlled you. 

Controlled me?

Yes.  You have given them all your energy.  You have given them all your free time.  You have given them time that you could have used to your advantage.  You are giving them your power.  This is a double insult.  Not only did their actions have a direct affect on you, you have prevented yourself from “getting even”. 

You have turned around and are living in the past. Your focus is on a story you have absolutely no control over, it happened – it is in the past.  That water has gone under the bridge on its way to the sea.  You are walking backwards to your future.  Why would you want to do that?

Stop right now.  Stop and take your power back.  Put all that energy that you are giving to them, back into your life.  Use that energy to drive you to start a fitness program, to enroll for a workshop on something you like, to plan a nice get-away. Anything. Take all that energy and put it to your good.

Too many people live in the past. It is slowly eating them up in the form of stress and anxiety. Eventually these set over into high blood pressure, neuro-complications, and many more. The end result is that you could become dependent on chronic medication.

We accept when a medical doctor tells us in an advert that “STRESS KILLS”.

The question is what causes stress?

Stress and anxiety are the result of a body system being under constant or near constant fear, hate, resentment, hurt, sadness, etc., for extended periods of time. The event happened in a moment, it is the fact that we re-live it daily that creates the stress and anxiety.

Your body system is managed and controlled through your Automatic Nervous System (ANS). This is divided into a Sympathetic and a Parasympathetic System.

The Sympathetic System is what is responsible for our Fight-Flight-Freeze Response – when the Lion is at the door. Adrenaline, to name one, is released so that you may run, fight, or freeze. Your sensory system goes into overdrive – you observe more (you need to see escape routes or places to hide), you hear better, etc. The fact that you feed yourself with the picture of how your revenge will play out, ignites this part because the system perceives danger and the ‘chemicals’ start to flow. We can refer to this as the gas pedal – you know, the accelerator in your car.

Except, you are quietly sitting at home, having a cup of coffee, tea, or a glass of wine. Now the Parasympathetic System is working – quietly balancing the body so for example your immune system can restore itself. You are at peace and in balance. We can refer to this as the break pedal in your car – you have come to rest.

While sitting there, planning your revenge, you are engaging both the break and the gas pedal. You are going nowhere slowly except that you are pumping adrenaline, cortisol, epinephrine, etc. And you are sitting with it, you are not releasing it through your running or fighting. It builds up daily. Your whole body system is on confusion – it perceives that you are calm and at peace, but you are sending signals that you are in danger. Your whole body system is set up for survival – so if you ‘say’ you are in danger, all other functions play a lesser role. It is all about your survival, and cortisol must be released so that you may do something to save yourself.

Can you imagine the total confusion? Next time you are out driving, go to the back of the mall parking lot and try to drive you vehicle with both feet on either the accelerator and break pedals. First try to work that out in your head, and then see how long it takes before you stall the car.

Back to the ‘Stress Kills’ advise. Yes, it does because it sets over into the other ‘illnesses’ named above. All these illnesses are the outcome of the cause that is your ‘revenge’.  BUT you should be dealing with the cause, not the outcome. Do not put a plaster on it (possible eventual chronic medicine), heal the hurt, fear, anger, doubt, sadness, etc.

Never stoop to revenge.  Revenge means you are losing, it means that they are still “winning”. 

Keep your power.  Grow in your power.  Become, through it, the most amazing you you can ever be, by healing that which is causing the pain and the eventual illness.

George Herbert said: Living well is the best revenge. 

My interpretation: The best revenge is to live a good life.  Smile, enjoy life, build yourself, shine.   And the best revenge?  When the person who did you wrong tell the world how sad you are, and the world looks at them not understanding, because all the world see is a happy person.  Because that will happen.

The best revenge is a good life!

Now, that is the ultimate revenge!

Sue Leppan

Transformation Life Coach

NLP Practitioner

Qualified Energy Codes® Facilitator

Qualified BEST® Practitioner

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