From Victim to Victor: 3 Steps to Discovering Your Power

In this fast paste life we are currently living, with changes happening on a daily basis, it is easy to fall into the trap of feeling powerless, being a victim, and feeling like a rudderless ship. Add to that the fear of cancel culture, having our voice of authenticity silenced, and you understand why there is such outbursts at time.

Often it might seem as though people act irrationally. Mountains are made from mole heaps. 

A person comfortable in their own power, knowing who they are at the core, is not likely to express such outbursts. From personal experience I can say that the times I felt most powerless were the times I wanted to control my outside world most.

Why? Because that is something we can experience through our senses. The inside world can be too scary at times. We do not like the emotions. Feeling the fear, shame, guilt, or anger is uncomfortable and we are not sure what to do with it. We instinctively know that we should act, but how? We want to see that we act, and we want to see results, so we express - more likely explode - outside of ourselves so we can see that we “did something.” 

We do not want to turn within because the internal voice is too negative. We are hardest on ourselves, and we constantly question ourselves. At first, we jump up to fight for our right to be heard, to be here. Eventually we become quite and depressed. We withdraw into spirals of blackness which is very difficult to come out of. 

We are experiencing the quieting of our voice on a scale as never before.

Our voice carries our individuality. It expresses who we are, how we experience life, and how we see our future. Our voice expresses our internal chatter. A person unreasonably critical of themselves will be unreasonably critical of the outside world. 

A person at peace within will express peace without. 

The part of us that activates the hearing sense within other, is our voice. It expresses our inner most feelings. A person living in fear within cannot be without fear in the outer world. Reaction to the outer world will be from a place of reaction of this fear. When we are in constant fear, generated mostly by our inner chatter, we live in a place of fight-flight-freeze. When we have to “fight” for our survival, we all act differently in any given situation. And such action may seem irrational to others.

An exterior explosion in defence and survival is a direct reflection of an inner emotional state.

How do we claim our power and become the victor of our life?

• Become comfortable with your emotions. Our emotions are the consequence of past experiences that now has settled as part of our physiology. They are indicators of times past where we felt we lost our authenticity, our personal power, our uniqueness. We feel that we were not heard or seen, and we feel that we are not good enough. 

What should have happened through our emotions is the awareness of what it brought to the surface for us. Times when we did not honour ourselves, where we accepted ourselves to be lesser, where we believed that we were not good enough, etc. That was the purpose of the emotion. It came to make us aware of where we are lessening ourselves. Allowing the self-limiting to continue, we eventually overreact and cause harm to ourselves and others.

Be comfortable with your emotions and allow them to be the indicator of where you need to grow, take ownership, and stand in your authenticity.

• It is the inside that must calm for the outside to calm. Everything we experience on the outside world is an effect of what we experience on the inside world. Have you ever met people who just seem to float through life? They do not seem to be hit by bad luck, and when hard times come, they somehow easily flow through the storm.

When you look at those people in general you will notice that they keep themselves occupied with things that interest them. They are not living their life according to the world stage. When we direct our focus and we mostly focus on only that which brings enjoyment to our life - things like love, joy, happiness, peace, contentment, and so forth - we provide ourselves with the opportunity to find the solutions to happiness, peace, joy, love, etc. When we focus on anger, hate, fear, guilt, etc. we will find opportunities that will bring more of that. When you consider the point above, then those are opportunities for you to learn to be in love, contentment, peace, etc.

That does not mean you become complacent; it means that you learn to act in a way that will not disturb your peace. You deal with situations from a place of love. You have acceptance of yourself and others. We must learn to become selfish regarding our emotional state. We will not allow the outside world to disturb our inner peace and we will act in the outside world in such a manner as to reinforce our inner calm.

• Acceptance and authenticity. First, we must learn to accept ourselves. We are unique individuals. We each have our own fingerprint, just as we have our individual and unique outlook on the world and how we want to experience our life here on Earth. You answer the call to your authenticity, and you quieten the inner conflict that you are experiencing. Once you have mastered self-acceptance, only then can you understand the turmoil others are experiencing in coming into their own acceptance.

Be glad that we are all so different. Imagine a world in which we all wanted exactly the same? The same clothes, same car, same partner, same food, same holiday, same house. This would bring us to a very bland, unstimulating environment where everything will stay the same. No opportunity to grow and experience different opportunities.

Because I enjoy to express and experience life in my unique authentic way, it opens possibilities for other people to mould what they learn and observe from me and all the other people they encounter, to their authentic and unique take on life. And in return, it provides me with possibilities and opportunities to change and grow. 

By accepting myself and you, embracing our individual authenticity, we are in service to each other. We are enriching the cycle of life.

When we learn to love and accept ourselves, that it is good to be unique and true to self, we can move from being the victim that is controlled by the outside world, to the victor that is in control of the personal inside world. This again provides us with great opportunities to have the maximum experience of love, excitement, joy, peace, and happiness on a larger scale. That is how we change the turmoil the world is currently experiencing, but even more the fear of survival we are internally living.

You are a unique individual, and the world is waiting on you to express your love and compassion authentically.

Sue Leppan
Master Transformation Life Coach
NLP Practitioner
Qualified Energy Codes® Facilitator
Qualified BEST® Practitioner