13 Days to Christmas: Plan of Action - Speak ...
Sit down with your “home” family and discuss what each one of you would like to experience during the holidays.

There is an internal battle that starts when we have diminished ourselves over an extended period. No amount of faking that we are okay can still resolve this conflict.
We live in a society where we are asked to conform. That confirmation should never demand that you conform on you - you should only conform on situations.
What feeds this sense of conforming to fit in and be acceptable to the larger society is a fear of not being accepted or good enough.
Combine that with the feelings of guilt, the fear of being hurt, rejection and so much more, many people become people pleasers filled with pain.
To avoid or justify the pain, we start an inner battle of self-criticism and self-anger.
When we deny ourselves, we reject ourselves.
There is no greater pain than this.
How do we overcome this?
First we must learn who we are. Truly are. Because it is only when we know what is important to us that we can even consider entering into “negotiations” as to what we are prepared to compromise on.
• What makes me happy?
• What am I not prepared to compromise on?
• What is my value - most importantly my self-value?
• How do I respect myself?
• How do I honour myself?
• How will I know if I am unconditionally loved?
It is only through the knowledge of the self, the vulnerable, loving self, that we can step forward and be ourselves.
It is through this authentic knowing of the self, that we can stand in our power and become calm.
You cannot fake this by saying I am okay. I am acceptable when I give of me.
I am lovable when my cost is not considered.
You cannot settle this battle through more self-rejection.
You can only settle this battle through self-recognition.
Sue Leppan is a life, transformation and holistic wellness coach based in Sandbaai, Hermanus. Providing therapy for a range of challenges, Sue specialises in targeting and dealing with emotional trauma, self-doubt, depression, stagnation and self-centring. Whether you need help with personal issues ...
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Read MoreSit down with your “home” family and discuss what each one of you would like to experience during the holidays.
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