Surviving the Narcissist
There comes a moment after leaving a narcissistically abusive relationship when you realise something unexpected.

Our bodies are the container within which we live.
They are our home.
Our nervous system is the alarm system of that home, constantly monitoring whether we are safe or in danger. It is where we go when we feel vulnerable. It is where we want to rest, to breathe, to simply be ourselves.
But when someone lives in a narcissistically abusive relationship, that home can begin to feel very different.
Instead of safety, the body learns constant vigilance.
Instead of calm, the nervous system prepares for the next emotional attack.
Over time the body begins to feel as though it is under threat from within, even long after the relationship has ended. The alarm system remains active because it has learned that danger can appear at any moment.
When your own body no longer feels like a place of safety, life can feel exhausting and overwhelming.
But healing is possible.
Just as we renovate a physical home when it has been damaged, we can also rebuild safety within our internal home.
Through mental, emotional and nervous system work, your body can begin to recognise something it may have forgotten for a while:
That it is safe to relax.
Safe to breathe.
Safe to feel joy again.
Neuroscience shows us that the nervous system can relearn safety. The body can release survival patterns and create new pathways of calm, peace and trust.
And as you rebuild this internal home, something beautiful happens.
You begin to consciously choose how you want to live.
That may feel frightening at first. When survival has been familiar for so long, peace can feel unfamiliar. Yet within that unfamiliar space lies possibility.
Imagine a life filled with love, laughter, joy, peace and serenity.
It is possible.
Leaving a narcissistically abusive relationship is not a prison sentence.
It is an opportunity to rediscover yourself, to grow, to rebuild, and to come back stronger than before.
And I want you to know this:
I know you can.
Quote
“The single most important issue for traumatised people is to find a sense of safety in their own bodies.” - Bessel van der Kolk
Sue Leppan is a life, transformation and holistic wellness coach based in Sandbaai, Hermanus. Providing therapy for a range of challenges, Sue specialises in targeting and dealing with emotional trauma, self-doubt, depression, stagnation and self-centring. Whether you need help with personal issues ...
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