What Kind of Relationship Do I Truly Want to ...
Once we begin to recognise that our beliefs influence the relationships we create, another question naturally follows.

Because somewhere along the way, we were taught that love means sacrificing ourselves. That pain was part of the package. That if we could just be better, do more, stay quiet, we’d finally feel loved.
“People stay in abusive relationships because it is their source of love.”
It’s heartbreaking, but true. When love has always come with conditions, with chaos, or with fear - it becomes the only version of love we recognize.
But I want to gently remind you: That is not love.
Real love does not diminish you. It does not silence, break, or belittle you.
Real love begins within you.
Healing starts by turning inward and asking:
- What part of me is still waiting to be loved?
- When did I first believe I had to earn love through pain?
- What if I chose me, now?
You do not need to prove your worth to receive love.
You are allowed to leave the chaos.
You are allowed to rebuild.
And most of all - you are allowed to learn what healthy love really feels like.
This is not about blame. It’s about reclaiming your power and learning to love yourself first. From that place, you’ll never settle for pain again.
You are worthy. You are lovable. You are not alone.
Sue Leppan is a life, transformation and holistic wellness coach based in Sandbaai, Hermanus. Providing therapy for a range of challenges, Sue specialises in targeting and dealing with emotional trauma, self-doubt, depression, stagnation and self-centring. Whether you need help with personal issues ...
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