When Silence Becomes Self-Denial

There is a price we pay for the peace we believe we achieve through our silence and the denial of ourselves.

And sometimes, that price is inner war.

We stay quiet to keep the peace.

We swallow our words because we don't want to upset someone.

We compromise our boundaries because it feels easier than having the difficult conversation.

We put our own needs aside because someone else's needs seem more important.

For a while, it may feel like peace.

But what happens inside you?

Anger begins to grow.

It can sit quietly beneath the surface, gathering strength every time you say yes when you mean no, every time you silence what you really think or feel, and every time you allow yourself to become smaller so that someone else can remain comfortable.

So, the next time you erupt "without reason" or find yourself over-reacting to something that seems insignificant, stop.

Instead of immediately asking, "Why am I behaving like this?", ask yourself:

"What is it within me that I no longer want to stay silent about?"

Is it your boundaries that have been repeatedly denied?

Is it your self-worth that has been suppressed?

Are you continually allowing others to be heard while you quiet your own greatness?

Sometimes the reaction isn't really about what happened in that moment.

It is the accumulated weight of everything you have not said, everything you have tolerated, and every part of yourself you have repeatedly denied.

A denial of yourself carries a hefty price.

The war eventually erupts - sometimes at a moment when you appear unreasonable, angry or out of proportion to the situation.

But perhaps that moment is not meaningless.

Perhaps it is the last straw.

And that can become the moment you choose something different.

You don't have to continue choosing silence to create peace around you while creating war within you.

Find your voice through your confidence.

Your boundaries matter.

Your needs matter.

Your feelings matter.

You matter.