Read This When You Feel Overwhelmed
Is your lucky packet too large? Do you fear success?
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the choices you have? It is as though the opportunities or possibilities at hand are so many, that you feel near paralyzed, and your brain freezes “up”?
You might be in this position because you have won the lotto. Perhaps you have taken an early retirement payout and now you are facing the decision of how to proceed with your life. It could be that you are starting anew after a divorce, or you decided to pack up the life you have - you have enough finances to carry you for a year or two - and now you want to do something that is more fulfilling to you.
We are social beings. We like to be part of the group and we seek approval from the group. So, the first thing you might do is to start asking for input from your family and friends. Nothing wrong with this, if you use their input as guidance to what resonates with you and what does not. Take from it what you like and discard the rest. Buying into the fears of others is senseless - they had different life experiences than you. They have different dreams to you. Their fears belong with them, they are not yours.
But, at the end of the day you are back to your own thoughts and the decisions you would like to make.
I faced this option a couple of years ago. I tried my hand at various things. One day, I walked out of the office and that was my last day in “the office”. I went home and I got up every morning only searching for information of that which will make me happy and feed my soul, my mind, and my existence.
Often, we think we must fall in with the norm. Find a regular “job” with regular hours, where you go on holiday once a year, your wish your week past every week so you could get to Friday and know that for the next two days you can do as you want. But do you do as you want?
What I undoubtedly discovered during that period was that the “Lucky Packet” was just too large, and I feared deciding.
• What if it is the wrong decision?
• What if I can’t make it work?
• What will the people say?
• I feel too guilty when I take time off during the week while everyone else works.
• Do I know enough?
• Who will want to work with me?
• Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
Can you identify with wanting to follow a path that will feed your mind and soul? A path where you play your part in society on your terms. Would you like to be successful and make an impact? It is all possible.
In that moment when you came to terms with what you want, you better watch out; the fear and doubt slowly overshadow your dreams. It is like a thief in the night stealing your joy. Except it is your own limiting beliefs that kick in again. You are threatening to leave the “comfort zone”.
It was only years later that I realised that I feared my success. There is no way I could make this work - who am I? And if it does work, will I be able to continue with it? Or will I do as I did in the past and let it all just fade away and return to my corner where I quietly watched my life pass me by?
It is the same as with love. We think that we have beautiful thoughts about love, that it is fuzzy and warm, but there are many people who have a negative connotation to love. Perhaps as a small child you wanted to take a drink of water to your mother, because that is how mom shows her love to you by caring for you. You tripped and the glass broke, and the water fell over the documents mom was busy filing. She shrieked, grabbed you away from the broken glass. You were sad and scared at the same time - your “love” was lying in pieces, and you knew instinctively what happened here was not good.
Mom did not act in anger and ridiculed your love. But as a three-year-old or 5-year-old, you perceived it as such and your deep-seated relationship with love is not the fuzzy and warm feeling that you “took on” later in life.
It is the same with success. Something somewhere might have happened that you unconsciously now attempt to avoid success.
When you feel that the options are too many and that you fear making the decision, keep the following in mind:
1. Love yourself enough to only go into that which will bring you joy, peace and fulfillment. This is your opportunity to give yourself permission to be authentic to yourself. Go back to that which inspired the small child within - which led to boundless laughter and joy. Return to that inner child and draw inspiration from that boundless energy and love. Write down what you want from the future - it does not matter the form it will come in. You will be happy anyway because you will find that which you desire from the deepest part of your heart.
2. Name the things that come naturally to you. In your “previous” life, the preceding 10 years, or 40 years, what came naturally to you? What kind of hobbies did you do because you really wanted to do it, not because it was the in thing to do? What books did you read? What subjects could you talk about for hours without ever tiring? What is it that you could study and study, gain increased information and you never reach a point of saturation?
3. Know what your day, month, and year will look like. Know the hours you are prepared to invest. Know how many holidays you want to take. Do you want to work weekends or only in the mornings? Do you want to earn a living from this or are you up for voluntary work?
4. Know what all the stories are that you are telling yourself, and why it cannot work. They are only stories - the same as the story you might be telling yourself about love, unknowingly. All these stories are only beliefs - things you are telling yourself, about yourself, and how you would like to experience this life. They can be changed if you are ready to face them and allow them to GO. If your beliefs do not set you free, they become the bars of the prison cell you lock yourself into.
5. Every journey starts with the first step. Start small, listen to your intuition. (Where I was sitting doing research the one moment on “peace/resolution circles”, I spontaneously got up, can’t recall what I typed in the search bar, and I found my first course to attend. No intention, only following intuition.) Take the first step. If you do not decide to start in a direction, how can your journey start? You might not end up with what you thought of initially, you might do a 180 turn, but start. Go out and do it.
Letting go of the doubt and fear allows you the opportunity to envision a different possibility. Forget about being successful, go out to be fulfilled and happy. Go out with the intention of answering your deepest, heartfelt call. Go out from the point to be authentic to yourself. Go out from the place that shouts to the world: This is me and I love being me.
(If you feel fear or doubt and would like to book a free half hour session with Sue, no obligation, please contact Sue Leppan Transformation Coach.)