Rediscover the Fearless Original You
I want to take you back to when you were six or eight years old. The games you played. Those were the days when you were in your own imaginary world, a world that you and your friends created. You could live out any fantasy you liked - we were crooks, we were cowboys, we were schoolteachers, pilots, firefighters, and shop owners. We had our imaginary “farm” in the woods and use to lay down sticks to show the outline of our homes, farmyards, etc. Apart from the entertainment we provided for ourselves, the creativity that was ignited within us made us believe that we were without any limitations. There was nothing we could not do or achieve.
Today we hear therapists talk about the inner child as though it is this mysterious, long-lost part of you that is out of your reach. We dismiss our childhood dreams as pie-in-the-sky because we are now busy with the “real world”. We are living in a world of responsibility and expectation, there is truly little time for “frivolous” fun. We are constantly in a battle to reach the top and to do better than the next person. We live with fear of failure, because we constantly evaluate ourselves to our neighbors, co-workers, friends, and family. We have entered a world of survival, which is a minefield of stress, anxiety, and fear.
We are surrounded by people who are fearful of being different to “the norm”. I remember many years ago, sitting in psychology classes and the professor or doctor talking about “normal”. Normal by the definition of whom I use to think? Because normal for me brings conditions, expectations, uniformity, and fear of being different to the “normal”. I often sit with clients who “want to be free”. Free of what? Mostly they do not know, they just know they do not want to be where they are. Feeling like a caged animal, constantly running into fences. They have an inkling the freedom is out there, but they just cannot obtain it. Their worlds are busy falling apart: their relationships take strain, their work environment becomes a combat zone, they avoid their friends because they no longer want to identify with that life.
It is an inner battle that leads to isolation and depression. It is a conflict that we cannot escape because we live with it wherever we go. There are a multitude of triggers during our day. It feels as though everything could go up in smoke if we do not find an answer, but the prospect of change leaves us paralysed in our fear. Now we are trapped between the freedom on the other side of the fence, and our fear induced paralysis on this side of the fence.
To the child in you it did not matter if you were the farmer and your friend the doctor. You did not care if you were the oldest or the youngest in the family. There was no consideration of status. You had no concept of “this is impossible.” All you did was you played to your heart every time you met up for a day of fun. You played to your heart.
It took a crises moment in my life to make me jump the fence to my freedom. I did not realise how much of the original me I had lost. I was following the crowd without thinking. I was a willing and a very active participant. No one had to force me. I became what I believed was expected of me - what a grown-up is supposed to do.
The moment I was “forced” to jump the fence, I had to consider what is real and what is my “make-believe” life? Are my limitations, the identity I attached to being a mother, wife, employer, etc., true or am I more than that? This was an opportunity to know what my “heart-game” is. If I am not any of the archetypal characters, then who am I? If I am no longer that person with limitations, then who am I? To take that jump to my freedom, I first had to rediscover the original me. I returned to the child who did not hold any fear, any belief that I could not do what made me happy. I took time in my day, in my week and I sat with that younger me and I got to know her again. Then I started to ask: Which part of my life is real, and which is made belief?
I remember sitting with a psychologist during that time and I said to him: There is a little flame that I can feel in my solar plexus. I do not know what it is, I do not know where it will take me, I do not know what all will happen, but I do know that is me waking up and I love the excitement of what will be. (LOL sounds a bit like the Liam Neeson character - Bryan Mills - in Taken.) That was my first taste of freedom.
And what is freedom? It is different for every one of us.
Freedom appears when we drop the shackles of fear. Freedom happens when we follow our heart, and we no longer measure ourselves by others. Freedom comes when I prioritize my life the best way it suits me and my dear ones.
So how do we start?
1. Become quiet. If you want to experience firsthand the amount of fear within you, tell yourself you are going to sit quietly for the next half an hour. No action, no thought, no judgement, no expectation. You will suddenly have itches all over your body. Your hip will be sore. Your things-to-do list will suddenly gain another twenty items. Everything just so you will not sit quietly, because you no longer know the true you and that is scary. Stare at a flame, follow your breath, or listen to a distant hum. And when a thought comes up, allow it to “walk out again” with no engagement.
It is in the quiet that we can meet the shy younger you who is so ready to come out and be heard. The younger you who had no limitations, who were not told that he/she was not good enough and that things will never work out. The younger you who believed that everything is possible, you must just believe it. Silence, quiet, will allow you to hear the time before the limitations. It is the same as practicing a muscle - it takes time. Start with 2 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 15 minutes. It is like learning a new language, be patient.
The reward is the discovery of the true you. Knowing what truly makes you happy. What brings you joy. It provides the opportunity to be free of your limiting beliefs and actions. That is freedom to me. Meditation holds so many benefits:
• Easier to focus during the day.
• Lowers stress levels.
• Brings patience.
• Creativity increases (this includes problem solving).
• Improves your heartrate.
• You become aware of the moment - the now.
2. Find Happiness. Find joy and happiness in random things throughout the day. Laugh aloud until the tears run and your tummy ache. Dance with yourself around the dining room table. Have an ice cream for breakfast. When you give attention to fear or anger, find three things that is love, appreciation, or happiness.
You have trained yourself to set your default at anger, fear, doubt, sadness, and any of the other so-called negative emotions. It is time to train yourself to set your default at happiness, joy, love, and fun. Once you start you will not want to stop. Once it becomes the norm you will be amazed at how much there is in your life to be happy, joyful, and loving about. We become “addicted” to our negative emotions. It is time to crave and feed our positive emotions.
3. Be kind to yourself. There is no other entity living in your head. There is no other voice speaking to you in your head. It is all you. You decide to be critical of yourself. You decide to listen to other people and then take their limitations and fears and make it yours. So as you embark on this journey to rediscover your true self, be kind. Be gentle. Be patient. Be compassionate.
You have come so far, spend so many years being critical of yourself, denying your true essence, that it will take time. Once the wheel starts rolling, it will not stop. Keep going. If today is hard, then let it be. You get up tomorrow and you be you again.
You are here to be you. You are here to answer your call. Even if you feel you might have lost yourself, you no longer know who you are, it is never too late. There is beauty and love within you that waits to express through your natural joy, let it.
Play to you heart. You are never too old, too sick, or too poor. Play to your heart’s content. Play and discover the powerful, amazing person you are.
(Sue can be contacted for a free consultation when you are ready to master yourself.)
Sue Leppan
Master Transformation Life Coach
NLP Practitioner
Energy Codes® Facilitator
BEST® Practitioner.
BA (Psychology)
