.jpg?width=200&height=94 "Family Restaurants")
Achieving Balance as defined by the Universal Law of Gender - 3 Guidelines
Biological life on Earth consists of two sexes: male and female. The universal expression of energy is feminine and masculine.
Apart from our physical, observable anatomy that identifies us as male or female, our biological make-up provides us with hormones to express our physical identity - such as the eggs that are required to create a new life, the sperm that is required to fertilize the egg to create the new life, physical strength, our bone structure, change within a body to carry new life, etc.
Through the conditioning of our society, we have combined the physical/biological with the energy as expressed in gender.
Gender qualities are present in everything: on the mental, physical, and spiritual planes. When considering the concept of Yin Yang which represents good and bad, positive and negative, masculine and feminine, and within the good is bad, and within the bad is good, we reach the point of understanding that it represents balance.
The moment we move out of balance, the pendulum will swing progressively more to the one side, wider and wider. The result is that at some point the pendulum must return, as the rhythm of life predicts, and then the opposite will come into view. Because we have accepted the extreme of the pendulum for so long, humans need an in-your-face action to consider the possibility of an opposite and to recognize the initial imbalance. The danger is allowing the opposite to be so overpowering, that society moves out of balance to the opposite. This return of the pendulum provides us with the opportunity to obtain balance.
We have accepted that to be born female, females must exclusively hold feminine qualities of gender: responsive, holy, valued, nurturing, and protective. When born male it is accepted that males must exclusively embody masculine qualities: a force that is penetrative, aggressive, assertive, dominating and explorative. When we consider societal expectations of the man and the woman in the house, it becomes clear that it was very conditioned and inhibiting to some. Girls were brought up to be submissive and quiet, a lady who never raises her voice. Girls were expected to play with dolls and start “caring” for the doll in preparation of motherhood. Boys were told to suck up their tears, that it is expected of them to stand up for themselves and to conquer their world, play rough and tumble, cowboys and crooks, be outside the house, etc.
As a society, we accepted the conditioning “sold” to us. And I say we because even though it was perhaps our forefathers who bought into the conditioning, it has now become part of our accepted culture. A culture that we live in. We have come to accept the expression of our sex (male & female) and the qualities that were assigned to the individual sex.
The Universal Law of Gender stipulates that everything in the universe exists as both masculine and feminine.
For the universe to be in balance it needs to be both masculine and feminine at the same time. When you look at the symbol for Yin Yang, there is dark (black) within the light (white) and light within the dark. Everything has good and bad; it is a matter of what you choose to focus on that will bring out one part or the other. There is a little masculine within the feminine and a little feminine within the masculine.
Let anyone of these qualities go out of balance and the whole system tumbles.
What is masculine within the feminine you might ask? Or what is feminine within the masculine?
I see this play out every time I work with a client. When all is said and done, we are in conflict with ourselves because we do not “get” to live out our true self.
With female clients it is often the quality to “claim their power”. Many of my female clients in business and relationships sabotage their own growth and success, by “waiting for someone to give them permission.” This often plays out that the female entrepreneur is too scared to take a standpoint, to fight for their right, to claim ownership of their title. They fear being classified as the witch, they fear to be wrong, they nurture their staff instead of being the strong leader, they are averse to taking risks, and they fight to survive in a “male world.” (This “fight” alone leads to huge conflict for some females - it is completely the opposite of what they have been told a lady/woman/female is.)
At the end of the day, with male clients it comes down to the fear of losing their families, and in particular the loss of their children emotionally, as they seldom have built a strong emotional bond. Many men often have become absent fathers within the household because they do not know how to deal with being vulnerable. Men are forced to be tough and hard, to go out and provide the best they can, when all they sometimes deeply desire is to be able to be “weak” or vulnerable. It is frowned upon for a man to be nurturing and vulnerable in the “man’s world” when gentleness will sometimes tip the scale.
Imagine we accepted that sometimes a man might be a better “mother” than the female in the house and that said female might have been a much better businessperson than being the frustrated mother at home.
The Law of Gender does not attach the feminine aspects exclusively to the female sex. The law states that for both sexes, to be in balance individually, should hold qualities of both genders. It is because of this duality that we ultimately end up depending on the outside world to provide that which we so desperately desire from within - love, caring, peace, confidence, power, vision, etc.
Each of us are born either male or female. Each of us should live the gender qualities of both feminine and masculine as the situation requires. This is balance. Move too much to either side and you are out of balance, and you start searching for what you diminish within, without.
How do we come into balance?
1. Don’t listen to the noise. Accept that you are an individual and that you are unique. You came into this life to have certain experiences. For every person it will be different, but at the end of the day, we all come to find the love that we are.
The noise of the outside world will tell you who and what you are. Name tags, titles, and labels will be attached to you, even before you take your first breath. Those will be anything and everything from being born into a poor or wealthy family and the accompanying curse, a family “illness”, your culture, etc. We have created our life by the beliefs we have taken on from our family, society, school, church, government, etc.
The noise will want you to conform to what they believe to be true. Consider for a moment; if you are true to yourself, where do you leave them? Who are they then? We build our identity from what we observe and take in from the world around us. If someone “jumps” out from the “norm” then I must look at myself, and who am I then?
Don’t let the noise of what is expected from you keep you within the “prison” of society, which only leads to conflict within. When you do not honour your true self, you reject your inner calling, and you slowly destroy yourself. The noise is there to make the outside world feel safe while you slowly die.
2. Own your true Self. Be honest with yourself. Acknowledge your true self. Your survival should be your number one priority - for only being true to yourself can you play your true role in society. Through love.
We cannot do anything about that which we reject or deny. If you cannot own your conflict and that which placed you in the place of conflict, you are powerless to change it. Already you must face one of your greatest fears: the fear of change. Change brings us to the point of the unknown, and because we are not confident in our own abilities and powers, we fear the unknown.
Should you decide to “change”, or rather grow, you must face the unknown of who and what you might become. By design we will stay with the status quo, the comfort zone. That which we know, no matter how bad it might be for us. It is the same syndrome as the person who stays in an abusive relationship - better the devil we know. Except, when you trap yourself within your inner conflict, you become the abuser and the victim.
Face your fear of the unknown. Face your fear of the possibility to grow into the person you were always intended to become. Own that right, own the limitations, own the actions it will take to move past the fear.
3. Take responsibility for healing yourself. The role of society is to be a mirror and show you what you portray to the outside world.
Wherever you deny your authentic self, society will show it out to you. Be egotistical and society will send someone to humble you. Be insecure and society will send someone to lift you up. The trick is that you must show up for the lesson to gain the reward.
What you struggle with in your social interactions is exactly that which you deny within yourself. Society cannot heal it for you. You must step up, take ownership, and then take responsibility for changing it. That is your power. Society only plays the role of the mirror.
Healing is not always easy. It can be done. Remember that you cannot do it wrong, you might only take the long road. Any work you do yourself to move towards your true self is never wrong. Find a coach or therapist that you easily identify with to make the growth directed and faster.
Years of self-introspection, many clients, and a passionate search for the path to self-realization, has taught me: that what I struggle with the most is where my power lies. It is the authentic self that I am rejecting in conforming with what is expected of me - the labels I internalized.
At times I had to stand in my feminine shoes and become vulnerable, without losing my power. And then there were times I had to stand in my masculine shoes, my power, without losing my feminine qualities, to be vulnerable. It is always a balancing act, every day. I can only know who I am when I acknowledge both qualities I hold within. Then I am authentically true.
Can you find peace within your biological body, embracing both your feminine and masculine qualities? Finding peace through your self-love, self-acceptance, and self-realization.
(This blog does not apply to life-threatening situations - please seek professional assistance for you and your child.)
